Tuesday, October 01, 2013

A Guide to Surviving a Fiery Apocalypse

Ok, so I'm pretty sure that that is, like, impossible but...

Come on! Is this what I have to look forward to in my old age? (like I said, it's impossible, sure, but something like it could potentially, maybe, perhaps happen!)

Obviously the exact fate of our planet is debatable but it doesn't hurt to be prepared, right?
I certainly try to be!

So, once a upon a time, over two whole years ago (!), while aimlessly browsing through a Chapters bookstore, I came across this lovely:

After somewhat sheepishly taking it to cash, smuggling it home and reading it in the dark hours of the night (I'm surrounded by vicious cynics! Ah!), I ended up LOVING this book!

It isn't another one of those dull-as-nails textbooks that just preach all these annoying ideas that you "must" go along with if you don't wish to suffer a most agonizing demise. No, this is a very accessible and easy-to-read and easy-to-understand dialogue, and you can actually have a lot of fun reading it!

Its a cute little pocketbook sort of sized thing, in full colour and fully illustrated (always a win!). You certainly don't have to read front-to-back, page-to-page either! There is a total of 77 skills (the author, David de Rothschild, insists these are skills you can learn and not just some ideals) and you can just flip around going along with whichever ones interest you. 

Here are some excerpts from the book:

And, of course, there is my favourite section:

"With a well-managed mutation program and a little luck from Mother Nature, you might be able to kickstart your personal genetic mutation. The results won't be perfect--you'll have to take the adaptations you get--but on an aggressive regimen of morning irradiation and afternoon mutagen shakes, you're sure to sprout something useful sooner or later." (The Live Earth Global Warming Survival Handbook) 

Of course, some of Rothschild's ideas (all from the "If All Else Fails" section) are not actually meant as real advice but the rest of the skills he suggests you learn are, indeed, important and realistic steps to take in saving the planet. 

Yes, the "Put on a Sweater" part may seem silly but really, how many people do you know that are determined to blast the heat in their house (in Canada!) in the middle of January just so they can dress like they are living in Bermuda? Because I can give you a list!

So, yes, its a humorous, somewhat satirical read but I found that The Live Earth Global Warming Survival Handbook was actually inspiring. In fact, I think it was the most climate-change relatedly inspiring thing to happen since Al Gore (...). Maybe it is the author's way of NOT talking in riddles and not talking down to the reader or maybe its that the book is like "polluters anonymous"--an accepting club for all of us earth sinners. A welcoming place to confess, learn, fix and move on.

Point is, books like these and people like this are what I think we need to get the masses moving towards actually protecting the earth. It's not about how much you do being compared with how much your neighbour does, nor is it about being hopeless in the face of "inevitable" self-destruction. 

Nope. It's about doing whatever you can, whenever you can and doing it at your own pace...but certainly doing it! Because if we don't, and all else fails...we might just have to grovel later and scramble to find other ways to survive.

May the best person win....kidding!


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